How Not to Get Caught Cheating on Your Wife at a Coldplay Concert

Just some pointers

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

By now you might have seen the video. 

If you haven’t gone online to the social media site of your choosing and within 30 seconds you’ll see it. 

Astronomer CEO Andy Byron was caught with his arms around a woman who is not his wife at a Coldplay concert. 

To make it even funnier, the woman he had his arms around is the company’s Head of HR Kristin Cabot. 

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin had them do a kiss cam. The camera scanned the audience where it landed on the extramarital tryst in action. 

One minute they were swaying to the music in a loving embrace, then suddenly tried to dive out of view as the camera lingered.

The people around them couldn’t stop laughing as it became clear that they did not want to be seen together in public. 

It even prompted Chris Martin to ask if perhaps they stumbled on something they shouldn’t have. 

The funniest part of this whole thing is that it didn’t even need to happen. 

Had Byron not tried to immediately jump out of frame, hardly anyone would have noticed it would have just been one of many couples featured on camera.

Another funny level to this is that the woman with whom he was having an affair, is also the head of HR, the body that should be policing workplace relationships.

Imagine getting called into HR at Astronomer and trying not to laugh.

On a more sinister level, imagine you had to try and report someone being inappropriate and you just saw the head of HR costing up to the CEO? Just wrong on many levels. 

Byron released a statement, which included Cold Play lyrics which to me suggests he’s reached a level of down bad it would make Taylor Swift blush. 

At the time of this writing, Astronomer has placed Byron on leave. 

I don’t even think it was the cheating, I assume every executive is cheating on their spouse. It’s one of rich people’s favorite pastimes. 

Honestly, I bet this is why all the business owners wanted everyone back in the office. Kind of hard to get some afternoon delight with your direct report when everyone’s on Zoom.

But there were a series of blunders that would give me pause. 

How do you get caught doing so dumb? 

Here’s how to avoid getting caught at a Coldplay concert?

The first way is perhaps don’t cheat on your wife? That won’t happen. Rich guys love cheating on their wives. Even more than golf. It’s their favorite sport. 

Two, maybe don’t go to a Coldplay concert? Honestly kinda should have fired him for his taste in music. 

Three, don’t go to a public even when you’re cheating on your spouse. A quick internet search reveals that Byron is worth tens of millions of dollars.

You could go anywhere man. A private Chalet in the Swiss Alps.You could rent an island (though rich people may be avoiding islands right now) you could be in Hawaii, Tahiti, Cincinnati, literally anywhere man.

But maybe don’t take your side piece to a public event. 

All in all I think this is quite funny. Super rich people bungling things will never not be entertaining. 

If Byron leaves Astronomer it will be with a golden parachute. Then he and his paramour can go hold hands in Times Square or somewhere equally visible. Heck, he’ll probably get a reality show.

By next week no one will remember this.

But to the about to be rich, and very single Mrs. Byron.

What’s up? My name’s Matt. I’m tall. I’m funny. And if I cheat on you it will be at Motel 8 by the freeway like God intended. 

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