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J.A.A. Arnold's avatar

That hit hard. The tension was real from the start, but that last twist—O’Malley saying it’s already done? Chills. You captured the chaos and fear perfectly, and the way everyone’s scrambling while he just smiles… unsettling to say the least. It feels like the kind of scene that would stick with me in a movie. Honestly, I felt the panic settle in my chest when he dropped the water supply line.

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Margo Margan's avatar

Nice work here. The ending leaves me on the edge of my seat, and evil scientist/doctor is one of my favorite character types. I'd love to see more to characterize the people in the story. There's definitely interesting seeds, but I felt I couldn't get a clear picture.

Nice to find a fellow short fiction author, will definitely follow for more short stories!

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